Irony
by acegirl195
Summary: DGM Kink Meme request I filled: Cross/Lavi. Lavi joking Kanda shouldn't face Cross or the General would hit on him due to Kanda being as cute as a girl, so Lavi is very surprised the General hits on him instead.


"Nervous, Yuu?"

The addressed swordsman looked toward his left to his companion. The idiot red-headed rabbit wouldn't stop talking and with every word he spoke only upped Kanda's urge to drive Mugen through that damn grin.

"Tch, why would I be" Kanda replied despite his un-interest in the conversation.

There was that damn grin of his again, Kanda could only scowl and make a small 'tch' sound again.

"Well it is General Cross. Ya know he's a well known womanizer" everyone knew about Cross's antics over ladies with long legs and pretty skin.

"I don't see why that would make me nervous" Kanda closed his eyes and crossed his arms across his chest.

"Well ya know.." both exorcists stopped in front of the pub they were assigned to meet up with Cross at. "You're all pretty like a girl and you have such pretty ha-" Lavi abruptly stopped his words as he found the point of Mugen less than an inch away from the only eye he could see out of.

"I-I was jus' jokin', Yuu" Lavi raised his hands defensively and backed up a step, Kanda following and his blade not moving one bit away from Lavi.

"It's a compliment really.." Lavi laughed nervously as Kanda slowly lowered his blade, slipping it back into its sheath and crossing his arms over his chest again with his famous death glare still directed toward Lavi.

Both boys looked back at the pub door, the sounds of loud drunks laughing inside and the smell of fresh alcohol being served hit their senses even with the doors closed.

"Now or never.." Lavi chuckled, feeling nervous himself from the last time he had been in a bar; ending up piss drunk and bruised up from getting into a fight with a guy who tried luring him to bed.

Kanda didn't respond, stepping forward and extending his hand to push the pub door open, dim light illuminating their figures as the two exorcists stepped into the bar, silence overcoming the overcrowded liquor house for a brief moment before everyone went back to their own business.

It only took a minute for Lavi to spot the fierce layers of crimson hair and trademark black hat sitting in the corner of the pub at a lonely table. Cross caught Lavi's line of sight immediately and smirked, swirling the brown liquor in his glass casually then raising it as if he were gesturing them over.

Lavi tapped Kanda's shoulder, gaining the swordsman's attention and nodding toward the table. It was more trouble navigating through the crowd over to Cross than it was to spot the man. Kanda clenched his teeth as he felt a hand on his ass, hand itching to withdraw Mugen and slice whoever was groping him so fondly. Luckily enough for that man, Lavi grabbed that hand inching toward Mugen and pulled Kanda closer and moving faster over to the table where the general was.

Lavi and Kanda paused when they popped out of the crowd and right in front of Cross. Lavi could imagine Allen's reaction if he could see the multiple empty bottles of expensive whiskey littering the table and the other bottle Cross was finishing right now.

"So you're the brats Komui sent over.." it was surprising how light the slur in Cross's voice was considering the man should actually be passed out and probably dead already from the massive amount of alcohol he'd consumed.

Cross looked both boys up and down, a smirk slowly uncoiling upon his lips. Lavi stiffened, he knew it, Cross was going to hit on Kanda. He was going to flirt, try to get him drunk and try to sneak into Kanda's pants. And then they would have to return to headquarters and dreadfully inform Komui that Cross had been castrated and sliced into a twisted parody of sushi.

"Oi, Jr."

Lavi raised an eyebrow, why was he addressing him?

"Yes, General?"

There was a pause as Cross looked over the bookman apprentice again.

"Why don't you take a seat next to me, maybe a drink?"

Lavi's eyes nearly bulged, he could tell Kanda was smirking next to him at the sheer irony.


End file.
